Relationships

An anxious attachment style is a pattern of relational behavior characterized by a deep-seated fear of abandonment and rejection, often manifesting in a need for consistent reassurance from relationship partners. Stemming from early interactions with caregivers, individuals with this attachment style may find themselves in a perpetual state of anxiety about their relationships, constantly worried about their partner’s availability and responsiveness.

While anxious attachment can pose significant challenges in adult relationships, it is not insurmountable. It often surfaces as a need for closeness coupled with a fear of the very intimacy desired. Recognizing the signs and understanding the roots of anxious attachment can be the first steps toward development of more secure, healthy patterns of relating. With the right support and strategies, those with an anxious attachment style can work toward establishing more secure attachments and reducing the anxiety that impacts their relationships.

Key Takeaways

• Anxious attachment involves a fear of abandonment and ongoing need for reassurance in relationships.
• It originates from early relationships with caregivers and can significantly affect adult relationships.
• Recognizing and addressing anxious attachment can lead to more secure and stable relational patterns.

Understanding Anxious Attachment

Anxious attachment represents one type of insecure attachment style originating from early primary bonds. This section provides an in-depth look at the underlying theory and the distinctive traits exhibited by those with anxious attachment.

Attachment Theory Background

Attachment theory, developed by psychologist John Bowlby, describes the dynamics of long-term relationships between humans. Its main premise is that children need to develop a secure attachment with their primary caregivers for normal social and emotional development. The four recognized attachment styles are secure, anxious, avoidant, and disorganized, each describing a different kind of bond and behavioral patterns in relationships.

Characteristics of Anxious Attachment

Individuals with an anxious attachment style typically display a strong fear of abandonment and an intense need for close relationships. Their insecurity often leads to:

• High need for reassurance: They require constant validation from their partners.
• Sensitivity to partners’ actions and moods: They may read into words and behaviors, worried about the implications for the relationship’s stability.
• Struggle with independence: While craving closeness, they also feel uncomfortable when either they or their partner seek too much independence.

On a behavioral level, these characteristics manifest as vigilance to any perceived threats to the relationship and a tendency to seek control to reduce anxiety.

Development of Anxious Attachment Style

The formation of an anxious attachment style is deeply rooted in early childhood experiences and the nature of relationships with primary caregivers. This section elaborates on how childhood interactions and caregiver behavior contribute to the development of anxious attachment patterns.

Role of Childhood Experiences

Childhood plays a pivotal role in shaping attachment. Anxious attachment often emerges from a pattern of inconsistent parenting during infancy and childhood. Children who experience uncertainty about the availability and response of their caregivers may grow anxious, driven by the fear that their needs might not be met consistently.

Impact of Caregivers on Attachment

Primary caregivers are central to the formation of attachment styles. They are typically the child’s first point of bonding and significantly influence the child’s expectations for future relationships. When caregivers provide inconsistent attention—sometimes nurturing and responsive, at other times neglectful or preoccupied—children may develop a heightened sense of anxiety and become overly dependent on these relationships for reassurance and validation. This inconsistent attention can fuel the fear of abandonment and difficulty with independence observed in adults with anxious attachment styles.

Signs and Symptoms

In assessing the anxious attachment style, recognizing the behavioral patterns and triggers becomes pivotal. These signs are often consistent, revealing underlying insecurities in interpersonal relationships.

Emotional Patterns in Relationships

Individuals with an anxious attachment style frequently seek reassurance in relationships due to an inherent worry about their status and the possibility of abandonment. These emotional patterns can manifest as:

• A strong need for closeness and reassurance from partners, demonstrated through frequent requests for affirmation of the relationship’s stability.
• Heightened sensitivity to a partner’s emotional state and actions, often leading to a preoccupation with the relationship’s dynamics.

Emotional responses are often intense and can oscillate dramatically in response to perceived cues of withdrawal or disinterest from a partner, which may be labeled as clingy behavior by others.

Recognizing Triggers and Behaviors

Triggers are specific incidents that elicit symptoms of anxious attachment. Recognizing these triggers is vital as they often precipitate a fear response that can result in maladaptive behaviors. Some of the identifiable triggers include:

• Prolonged periods without contact or communication.
• Indistinct or ambiguous messages from a partner.
• Observing the partner engaging in enthusiastic conversations with others.

Symptoms manifesting from these triggers typically involve:

Triggers	Symptoms
Lack of communication	Persistent attempts to establish contact
Ambiguity in partner’s actions	Overanalysis of the relationship
Partner’s attention to others	Feelings of jealousy and insecurity

In response to triggers, a person with an anxious attachment style may exhibit behaviors such as constantly checking digital communication platforms for a partner’s response, or an inability to enjoy personal time alone due to the fear of abandonment.

Anxious Attachment in Adult Relationships

Anxious attachment style can significantly influence how individuals communicate and connect with romantic partners, often fostering heightened needs for closeness and reassurance due to fears of abandonment and insecurity in the relationship.

Communication and Intimacy

Individuals with an anxious attachment style typically exhibit a strong desire for frequent and deep communication with their partners. They may express themselves with bold urgency, seeking constant validation to alleviate their insecurities. The pursuit of intimacy is intense, as they often correlate the depth of the relationship with the quantity and quality of communication.

• Verbal Communication:
  • Frequency: High
  • Intensity: Strong
• Intimacy Needs:
  • Closeness: Substantial
  • Reassurance: Frequent

Dependency and Reassurance Seeking

Dependence in relationships for those with an anxious attachment style tends to manifest as a persistent need for reassurance. They seek evidence of commitment and trust to soothe their fear of abandonment. These individuals may request frequent affirmations of affection and prefer actions that display a palpable connection between them and their romantic partners.

• Reassurance Methods:
  • Verbal affirmation
  • Physical presence

Their reliance on partners for emotional stability can lead to behaviors that may appear clingy or desperate, reflecting an internal struggle to maintain trust without constant validation.

Comparison with Other Attachment Styles

The anxious attachment style is one of several distinct patterns of attachment behavior. This section outlines how it differs from secure, avoidant, and disorganized attachment styles in its dynamics and manifestations in relationships.

Differences from Secure Attachment

• Expectation of Support: Individuals with a secure attachment style generally expect and receive support and comfort from their partners. They feel confident and trusting in their relationships. In contrast, those with an anxious attachment style often fear abandonment and may require constant reassurance and attention from their partners.
• Self-Image and Relationship Dynamics: Securely attached individuals typically have a positive view of themselves and their ability to interact effectively in relationships. Anxious individuals may have a lower self-esteem and exhibit high levels of dependency on their partners for validation.

Differences from Avoidant and Disorganized Attachments

• Response to Intimacy:
  • Avoidant Attachment: Such individuals maintain emotional distance, often appearing aloof or self-reliant to avoid feeling vulnerable. They typically prefer independence over closeness.
  • Disorganized Attachment: Those with disorganized attachment often display a mix of avoidant and anxious behaviors due to past traumas or inconsistent caregiving.
  • Anxious Attachment: These individuals seek high levels of intimacy and approval, displaying a stark contrast to the avoidant and at times, the chaotic nature of the disorganized attachment.
• Regulation of Emotions:
  • Individuals displaying avoidant or disorganized attachments may suppress their emotions or struggle with emotional regulation.
  • Those with anxious attachment are prone to heightened emotional sensitivity and may have intense reactions to perceived threats to the relationship.

In summary, while secure attachment is characterized by a balance of independence and intimacy, anxious attachment embodies fear-driven behaviors centered around closeness and affirmation. Both avoidant and disorganized attachment styles diverge from anxious and secure styles in their approach to intimacy and emotional regulation.

Consequences of Anxious Attachment Style

Anxious attachment style can have profound effects on individuals’ emotional health and relationship dynamics. Specifically, it can challenge their sense of self-worth and lead to complexities in how they interact with partners.

Effects on Self-Esteem and Self-Worth

Individuals with an anxious attachment style may experience fluctuating self-esteem. Their self-assessment often depends on their interactions with others, particularly romantic partners. They may constantly seek approval to affirm their value, leading to a persistent sense of insecurity. These individuals might also exhibit heightened jealousy, interpreting their partner’s independent actions as signs of diminishing affection, therefore affecting their self-worth.

Relationship Challenges

Anxious attachment style can significantly influence relationship satisfaction. Those with this attachment style may engage in behaviors that inadvertently create conflict, driven by their need for reassurance and fear of abandonment. They often need more validation from their partners than others do, which can strain relationships. This pattern of behavior can lead to a self-fulfilling prophecy where the intense fear of losing a partner and the associated behaviors can indeed push the partner away, decreasing overall relationship satisfaction.

Approaches to Therapy and Healing

Therapeutic strategies play a pivotal role in addressing an anxious attachment style, focusing on rearranging thought patterns and fostering self-awareness.

Cognitive Behavioral Therapy

Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) is a structured, time-limited form of psychotherapy that aims to alter dysfunctional emotions, behaviors, and thoughts. When individuals experience anxiety in their relationships, CBT helps by identifying and challenging unhelpful cognitive distortions. Therapists may provide homework assignments to practice skills such as assertive communication and realistic thinking about relationships.

Key techniques in CBT for anxious attachment include:

• Identifying Negative Thought Patterns: Recognizing thoughts that contribute to relationship insecurity.
• Testing and Restructuring Thoughts: Challenging negative beliefs and replacing them with more balanced, realistic ones.

Mindfulness and Self-Reflection

Mindfulness encourages individuals to be present in the moment without judgement, which can significantly reduce the symptoms of anxious attachment. Self-reflection goes hand-in-hand with mindfulness, offering individuals a way to understand their reactions and emotions deeply.

Mindfulness and self-reflection practices may include:

• Daily Meditation: Focusing on breath or body sensations to cultivate a sense of calm and presence.
• Journaling Exercises: Writing to explore emotional triggers and patterns in relationships.

Building a Secure Attachment Style

Transitioning from an anxious attachment style to a more secure attachment often involves cultivating greater self-awareness and learning to establish healthy boundaries. These changes can help individuals develop resilience in relationships and foster a sense of security and trust with others.

Developing Self-Awareness

An individual’s journey toward secure attachment begins with recognizing their attachment patterns. Self-awareness is a critical step, involving a deep understanding of one’s thoughts, emotions, and behaviors as they relate to attachment. People with an anxious attachment style can benefit from exploring the origins of their fears and how they influence their expectations in relationships.

Strategies for Enhancing Self-Awareness:

• Reflect on past relationships to identify repeating patterns.
• Explore underlying beliefs about relationships and self-worth.
• Observe reactions in times of stress or discomfort, noting triggers and responses.

Learning Healthy Boundaries

Healthy boundaries are essential to forming secure attachments. They allow individuals to recognize where their needs, emotions, and responsibilities begin and end compared to others. Setting boundaries involves clear communication and the ability to say no without guilt.

Strategies for Establishing Boundaries:

• Determine personal limits in relationships and communicate them explicitly.
• Practice saying no in various situations to become more comfortable with declining requests.
• Recognize and respect others’ boundaries as a reciprocal process.

Frequently Asked Questions

In this section, readers will find focused responses to common inquiries regarding the anxious attachment style.

What are the underlying factors that lead to the development of an anxious attachment style in adulthood?

Anxious attachment style in adults usually stems from inconsistent caregiving and emotional support during childhood. These individuals often had caregivers who were sporadically responsive, leading them to become unsure about the availability of support and affection.

How can adults with an anxious attachment style form healthy relationships?

Adults with an anxious attachment style can form healthy relationships by developing self-awareness and understanding their patterns. They benefit from communicating openly with their partners and working on building trust and security within the relationship.

What strategies are effective for managing anxiety in relationships for those with an anxious attachment style?

To manage anxiety in relationships, individuals with anxious attachment styles can practice self-soothing techniques, seek therapy, and establish secure and consistent communication patterns with their partners to build trust and stability.

How does an anxious attachment style in children differ from that in adults?

Anxious attachment in children often manifests as a visible and intense need for attention and reassurance from their caregivers. In adults, these needs may be exhibited through internal anxiety, clinginess, or constant seeking of validation within their relationships.

What methods can be used to soothe someone with an anxious attachment style?

Someone with an anxious attachment style can be soothed through reassurance of their value in the relationship, consistent and reliable interactions, and the establishment of clear and understanding communication with their partner.

Among the various attachment styles, which one is considered to be the least common?

The fearful-avoidant attachment style, also known as disorganized attachment, is considered the least common among the attachment styles. Individuals with this attachment style exhibit a combination of avoidant and anxious behaviors, often resulting from severe trauma or neglect in childhood.

In those moments, it can feel like someone is being insincere, thoughtless, and unfaithful. This is about those times when you realize that people often say things they don’t intend to follow through on. It’s a revelation that they might express one thing while meaning something entirely different, and their actions often don’t align with their words.

At times, it seems as if this is done deliberately. Communication should be more straightforward, right? Why is it so challenging for some to express themselves clearly and truthfully?

You might feel like you’re caught in a bewildering game, trying to reconcile their actions with their words. Everything seems inconsistent, and if they genuinely care, why isn’t transparency a priority? Why do they struggle to be clear and direct?

There’s a simple reason for this. Emotionally charged situations often lead to a disconnect between what is said and meant. Emotions, by nature, can defy rational thought. Logic is our ability to reason and make sound decisions, and typically, our actions reflect our words under logical circumstances.

However, emotions can override this logical thinking. When emotions are intense, they can dominate rationality, making us act in ways that may seem irrational.

You’ll notice that when someone is emotional, their actions may not align with their intentions or their words. They might behave erratically or out of character, leading to significant confusion.

This confusion can lead you to mistakenly believe that you’re at fault for their behavior. You may find yourself trying to decipher their actions, thinking you’ve done something wrong, but the truth is, their emotional state is causing this unpredictability. And while they might not be able to explain their actions, it’s important to understand that it’s not a reflection of your actions or worth…

…And this is where it all boils down, because every single man faces a MAJOR dilemma, that women don’t even realize occurs. What is this dilemma? The dilemma is this:

Men Fear Their Emotions…

Yup, you ARE reading this correctly. Men are so terrified of their emotions that they become distraught whenever their emotions pass over the threshold of logic. Naturally, men are taught to be logical, and are told to suppress their emotions.

From childhood till adulthood, they are conditioned to believe that expressing their emotions can be seen as unhelpful, a sign of weakness, problematic, and simply unacceptable.

Thus, men learn to express themselves through logic instead, and as we know, logic never mixes with emotions; thus there is always a stark contrast in how a man thinks and how a woman thinks.

This is why the statement “men are from Mars, and women are from Venus” sticks; because it’s a universal fact that at times men and women seem to be so completely different that it’s sometimes impossible to think they are from the same planet.

To help you understand better, let’s put this into perspective. Consider the fact that women, are instead taught to express themselves through their emotions.

Your entire life, you are taught that as a woman, you should connect with your emotions, should express yourself through emotion, and that your problems can be solved through emotion.

For instance, you know that when you cry, you can tell others that you are upset. Crying can help you solve the problem, because it clearly sends a signal to others that you have a need for something, or that you have been hurt and need them to console you or stop their behavior.

Likewise, when you are confronted with a problem, you end up talking about it. You want to discuss your feelings, and how things make you feel. You want to talk about how something has hurt you, why it has hurt you.

Talking helps you feel better, because it is a good way for you to vent your frustrations out, and you feel less pressure and stress as a result.

Another example is when a woman tells someone that they love them. A woman feels that by telling it, she is therefore sharing the emotion, and in the end feels like she was able to express herself. Typically, others will tell you in return that they love you, BUT men, of course may not always return it.

Therefore, you have learned that you can get RESULTS from your emotions, when you express them. In the end, you have been learning how to CONNECT to your emotions for most of your life.

You have come to terms with your emotional side, and you have learned how to deal with it and also how to use it as a tool for reinforcement in your life.

This also means that you have learned how to react and deal with your emotions when they become overbearing or strong.

Men, however, do not have this luxury. Since it is practically taboo for a man to express himself emotionally, he never learns how to connect and come to terms with his feelings.

Of course, in a relationship, this can be a HUGE issue. Relationships are founded almost entirely on emotion and feelings, and partially on logic.

Men struggle in relationships as a result, and moreover, they struggle even more to communicate with women because of it.

You see, when a man becomes emotional, his natural urge is to resist it. He resists his emotions, because he doesn’t know how to handle them, and has found that whenever he was too emotional, things just felt out of control for him.

That’s exactly why men FEAR their emotions, because they have no way of controlling them. They don’t know what to do when they are emotional, or have strong feelings.

They can’t connect, and as a result find that everything else is out of control too. What happens then, is men try to regain the control, which is where you should understand that men handle and tackle their problems in a completely different manner than women do:

Men Tackle Problems By Using Logic, Not Emotion…

When a woman has a problem, she’ll talk about it, and it is always tackled with her emotions: she talks about how she feels.

Men, however, tackle problems with logic. That is how they learn to ‘vent’ their frustration, that is how they express themselves, and that is how they are able to feel in control.

Moreover, that is how they solve their problems: they reason, make sound judgments, and investigate the issue. BUT, that is the REAL problem. That is where the real eye opener is. At first, the emotions set in, and a man will say things, while the emotions are there.

BUT then, he will realize that the emotions have set in, and his Logic will tell him to suppress it in order to stay in control.

His logical mind will say “No! Back away!”, and that’s when you find him suddenly doing the EXACT opposite of what he said. That’s when you find him saying things he doesn’t mean.

In the end, men don’t actually intend on doing this on purpose…because it’s a reaction they don’t even realize they have. Sometimes a man is aware of the fact that he can’t handle a certain emotion in its entirety, and in those cases you’ll really feel confused, because his reaction will be to pull away from you.

That’s why you’ll find the most discrepancies when he is emotional. It can even be when everything is fine and has been running smoothly, because a man will fear EVERY emotion when it passes the threshold of logic; even if the emotion is a positive feeling, such as love or trust.

You’ve probably guess where I am going with this, so why is it that a man can’t say what he means, or do what he says he is going to? Here is what it all comes down to:

Men Can’t Say What They Mean Or Do What They Say As Long As Their Emotions Are At Odds With Their Logical Side…

He resists his emotions; therefore it’s a never-ending circle…

1. He’ll feel an emotion.

2. He’ll act on that emotion for the time being, not realizing that it’s a feeling just yet.

3. He’ll recognize that he is feeling an emotion as it grows stronger.

4. He’ll struggle to accept the emotion, as his logical side tries to gain control again, telling him that it’s bad to feel that way.

5. He starts to feel out of control internally, because he can’t connect to his emotions, but is feeling them; and at the same time his logic is arguing that he should suppress them by acting against them.

6. Finally, he pulls away and withdraws to feel in control again.

7. Rinse and repeat.

The moment where his logic tries to regain control is the moment where you will find him never doing what he says, because now his mind is directing him to do the EXACT opposite as he feels.

His mind tells him to do the opposite, because he doesn’t know what the true result of acting on his emotions will be.

Remember that men never really act on their emotions and don’t express themselves through their emotions, thus they never gain any real experience with their feelings.

Since there is no experience there is no solid guarantee that if he acts on his emotions, he will get the results he wants.

This is where it becomes extremely scary for men, because they fear failure and rejection. Failure and rejection only mean more emotional torture, which they absolutely don’t want to have to try and handle. Thus, they take the safer route and back away from their emotions.

In the end, as long as a man’s logic is at odds with his emotions, there will always be discrepancies.

Until he comes to terms with his emotions, and learns how to handle and deal with them, his logical mind will always reject them and tell him to let go of them, or tell him to suppress them by acting in the opposite manner that his emotions are leaning him toward.

So let’s put this into perspective, and apply everything above: Let’s say he’s told you that he loves you and wants to spend the rest of his life with you. He says something like: “I love you, and don’t want anyone else. I want to marry you!”.

Ecstatic you feel fulfilled and happy that he wants to commit to you, and feel great that he has gotten to this emotional state with you. But the next thing you know, he’s withdrawing, becoming distant, ignores you, and you even catch him flirting with others.

At first, he feels the emotion, but then it becomes intense. He doesn’t know the outcome of it, and becomes worried. His logical side argues with him, and tells him to reason on it, and to judge the situation.

He does, and all of his worst fears come true. He starts thinking that maybe he will be trapped if he really does what he says, and if he really follows his feelings.

He starts to think things like:

“What if it doesn’t work out?” or
“Will I be able to provide for both of us?”
“What if she loses interest in me or finds someone better?”
“What if I fall out of love?”
“What if I can’t be the man she needs?”
“What if I need space?”
“What if I can’t make our dreams come true?”

And it goes on and on…. “what if, what if”, and more “what if’s”.

The doubts start to kick in, as he thinks that perhaps he can’t, and his logic continues to provide examples of where everything could go wrong, and suddenly he is convinced to back out.

He, of course, can’t express any of this to you, because he is unable to express his emotional side. That’s where he backs off, becomes distant, breaks his promises, and does the opposite of what he says, and your world turns upside down.

But, if you want your world to stop turning upside down, and if you want him to finally be able to get out of this cycle, there is a way to do it.

You see, I have carefully laid out a system which will let you directly into a man’s mind, to show you everything you need to do to get the results you want to see.

Check out my personal video where I explain everything you need to know in order to get what you want from a man…

“Show Me The Video“

So you finally found this page…

I don’t know how you landed here, but let me assure you that if you have been dying to figure men out & want to know why men do what they do then this page has all the answers you need.

I strongly suggest that you stop whatever you are doing right now and pay close attention to every single word on this page…Trust me! It will be worth it, let me show you why:

Does your mind go completely insane when you are in a situation with a guy where you can’t figure out why he is doing what he is doing?

Do you often think:

Why doesn’t he like me?
Why does he only want sex?
When will he commit?
What does he like or see in other women & not me?
Why does he reject me, and what do I lack?
Why doesn’t he love me?
Why do good men always run away from me?
Why do I always end up with losers?

It’s the basic: “Why…Why…Why?” syndrome, and I know these questions can drive you completely insane!

This is where women tend to think that their life would be MUCH easier if only they had access to some sort of magic tool which would show them exactly what a man is thinking.

Well…Reality can be mean. Life doesn’t always turn out the way you planned; especially when it comes to men and relationships… so it’s every woman’s fantasy to be able to finally have their life turn out like a fairy tale in the end.

I am sure when you were a little girl you had dreams about how perfect your life is going to be some day.

You dreamed about how your prince charming would magically come into your life and make you feel complete, and how everything would work out.

But now you realize it was all a dream, and reality has another plan for you: a plan you didn’t prepare yourself for.

Who knew men could be so complex?

Who knew relationships were so HARD and involved a never ending cycle of pain & pleasure?

In fact, EVERY single woman out there will at some point in her life experience:

…Rejection.
…Loneliness.
…Frustration.
…Hopelessness.
…Confusion/Doubts

And it goes on and on, BUT, there is a fairytale world in between the complexity of men, because when dealing with a man she will ALSO experience:

…Joy.
…Comfort.
…Security.
….Love.
….Understanding/Certainty.
…..and many MORE similar and positive emotions.

But here’s where it all breaks down…

Why do some women have more positive experiences than negative ones?

Well the answer is pretty simple and not an obvious one. These women understand what a man wants… And no…it’s not the right clothes, the right make up, the right hair etc…etc. That is all absolute CRAP!

That’s why I hate those talk show women who yap on endlessly about how you can make yourself the “super Barbie doll” who is pretty & attracts great men.

It’s ridiculous to even consider some of the advice given in these shows.

Sure you will attract a lot of men just by making adjustments in the way you look but that doesn’t mean you can buy his affection or love. Being a man myself let me tell you that when we see a pretty woman…our first thought is how to get her into bed. Period!

If a guy looks at you and is checking you out – Do you believe he is thinking “Wow! What a pretty girl! I would like her to be my wife & want to have kids with her”? Heck No! He is trying to figure out how he can get you into bed as quickly as possible.

Here is THE fact…And I know this will lead to a lot of arguments but:

A man can easily go to bed with you without having any emotional attachment towards you.

Men label women into two groups-

A woman he would just casually have sex with.
A woman he would want to be in a relationship with.

So ladies…Here is the truth- If a guy is having sex with you right now but is reluctant to talk about where things are headed then he has actually put you in the casual sex category.

Ever heard a guy say – “I just don’t want anything serious right now”?

It’s that same old boring line men use isn’t it? But does it mean he isn’t ready for anything serious? Heck NO!

What it means that he isn’t ready for anything serious with YOU. Yeah I know! It’s painful but the truth often hurts.

So now the big question is this: How can you avoid being a casual fling to him and become a woman he would want to get into a relationship with?

Here are some guidelines you need to follow…

Men Want a Woman Who is Non-Needy

Have you ever had those moments where you are talking to a guy & everything is going extremely well…the conversation is flowing well….

You can feel that instant connection. You like him a lot & now you are wondering how to make it absolutely certain that he will go out with you again? Now you are trying to figure out how to say the right thing and are trying hard not to mess it up.

You want to know more and more about him….

All of a sudden you are asking him lots of questions left, right, and center:

…Are you single?
…What do you do for fun?
…Do you have any siblings?
Etc etc etc…

Then the meeting comes to an end, he takes your phone number, and promises to call you.

You go back home…Filled with excitement.

You call your best friend & tell her about this handsome hunk you ran into today, explain how exciting it was for you, talk about how much fun you had, and all the other good stuff. Everyone is all chirped up and happy.

And then the waiting game starts…

You wait for his call. You check your phone a million times a day. You get super excited every time you see a call from an unknown number…Only to be disappointed when you answer it, because:

It’s not him…

And you wait…wait…and WAIT…He never called.

Confused, you call up your good old best friend again and discuss the possible reasons why he didn’t call; and after the end of a long conversation you two agree that he was just another jerk.

And this is where the story ends.

Here is the reality about human beings – Our minds are very quick to judge. We see something and form a judgment within seconds.

Men do the same thing.

If a man didn’t call you after a date even when he promised he would, then this means that in his mind you are overly needy. And neediness kills attraction.

This is a common pattern most women get sucked into: When you like a guy your normal desire is to get that guy to like you back…which for most women, means doing everything you can to accomplish that.

And in the process…You stop being your best self and start doing things just to impress the guy. Guys can sense this: a guy can sense when you like him….BUT, he can easily see when you are trying TOO hard to impress him.

This is how a man sees it:

“Oh she likes me…Interesting!”

“She’s asking too many questions…I guess she totally digs me.”

“She is getting weird now…Too many personal questions.”

“How do I get rid of her?”

And bam…Now you know how he saw the whole situation.

From the interaction and the way you behaved you projected a very needy attitude.

Men only feel attraction towards women who are not trying to gain their acceptance, which means you have to be non-needy. In order to accomplish that, you have to understand a two very important things here:

…You have to convey to him that you like him BUT that doesn’t mean you will make extra attempts to impress him to gain his acceptance.

…You have to be yourself like you normally are. When you make changes in your personality just to impress him or gain his acceptance he can easily sense that and it will backfire.

So how do you know when you are not being yourself when you are around a guy you really like? Well it’s simple:

If you find yourself saying the things you won’t normally say and doing the things you won’t normally do in his company then you are definitely on the wrong path. Stop yourself right there – and ask yourself – Am I normally like this?

And you will know exactly what to do.

Naturally, women know what they want, but don’t know what to do to get it. You’ll find yourself doing anything that just comes to mind, even though you aren’t sure it may work, to try and win a guy over.

This is where a strong understanding of men comes into play.

If a woman does not understand how a man’s mind works, or what she needs to do specifically to make him react positively in return, she will end up noticing that men lose interest and leave.

But, if a woman understands how a man’s mind works, she will KNOW exactly what to do in any situation, and the results will be everything she hoped for.

I have spent a lot of time and energy into figuring out some of the best insights and tactics a woman can use to get everything she wants out of her man.

In fact, I have taken the time to break apart a man’s mind and lay it out clearly for women to understand and use in their dating life.

And that’s why I strongly recommend you watch my personal video on the next page…

“Show Me The Video“