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Self Esteem

7 Tips On How To Gain Self Confidence

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There are no secrets in this world. There are only things we do not know at  this point in time. And when you DO know it, it’s not a secret anymore. This  leads me to tell you that there is only one way to truly gain self confidence.  This is by a process. You must realize that gaining confidence has almost never  happened overnight. Of course there are always exceptions to everything in this  world. Learning how to gain self confidence is a process and I want to tell you  7 really great tips on how to gain self confidence.

Tip #1:

Don’t care what other people think. I know you may think “How am I supposed  to do that?”. Well the fact is that you can’t change what anybody else thinks.  Imagine you are at a public gathering and you have really low self confidence at  that point in time. You come home and you feel really bad because you thought  you where judged by other people. Your best friend James, thought the same thing  when he came home. Judith thought exactly the same thing. The point is, people  care more about themselves than they care about you. So inevitably don’t care  what other people think of you. You are not put on this planet to please all.  It’s OK to fail, it’s OK to be different, it’s OK to do what you feel is right  for you!

Tip #2:

Allow being judged. This is something that can be really hard, but guess  what. In order to boost self confidence to great heights, you must be able to do  things your way and be OK with other people disliking what you do. Again, almost  everybody in the world judges people, I judge people for sure. If somebody tells  me that I am something negative that I know I am. Let’s say ugly, or fat… I  can simply laugh it off and say, “So what, I can’t change my genes and this is  the way I am, do you have something else you want to judge me by, please get it  off your chest?”. See there is nothing a person can say to you that you can’t  counter in one way or another.

Tip #3:

Have really strong beliefs. The two tips above come down to one thing and  that is having a strong self belief and solid ground in your confidence. There  are many exercises you can take in order to really learn how to gain self  confidence. You must get your beliefs in order first, otherwise you will always  have a doubt in your mind somewhere. People are experts at destroying their own  beliefs by having negative thoughts. STOP negative thoughts now.

Tip #4:

Writing your goals down on paper. People who fail will write their goals down  once, look at them, put pen and paper down and then forget about it. People who  have learnt how to gain self confidence proceed with their goals and never ever  quit. I know this may sound harsh right now, but quitters remain quitters until  they believe they can be winners. Be a winner.

Tip #5:

Be a winner. Even if you lose at one point in time be a winner. Even if  somebody totally humiliates you, you are a winner. Why? Simply because everybody  is a winner. Everybody is good at something. The reason you have low self  confidence is because you have been programmed to believe something that isn’t  true… at all. Maybe people around you have told you that you are worthless or  too stupid to do something. Guess what, you are not, you are a winner. You are a  winner because you know that if you set your mind to do something you will  obtain this goal. You have done it before, every single time. You just don’t  know it.

Tip #6:

Have extreme determination and faith. Know that if you have set your mind to  do something you will obtain it. Maybe not tomorrow or the next day. Maybe not  in 1 week or even 1 year. Learning how to gain self confidence takes time. Some  people get over these negative thoughts and gain amazing self confidence in only  10 days. For some people the programming has taken much harder and it takes them  2 months. Maybe you are so deep into it that it takes 5 years? Even if it takes  5 years, when that day comes and you know when you are there, you will feel that  5 years was worth it.

Tip #7:

Patience. Learning how to gain self confidence is like fishing with a fishing  rod, in a way. Let me explain. have you ever tried to fish with a fishing rod  and you see something happen. You reel in to see if something happened. You find  the fish has broke lose. You get pissed and throw it back in the water. This  happens 5-10 times before you catch anything. In the mean time your friend is  pulling up the fish every single time and he is laughing of joy. He is  patient… he knows that when the fish bites, it takes a little bit of time  before the hook is 100% attached. The point here is that, if something doesn’t  work for you, throw the rod back in and try again. When you want to give up the  most, you know you are the closest!

Click here to learn more on how to gain self confidence.

How To Regain Self Confidence

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Your self confidence or your self worth is something that is influenced by your  immediate family, your friends and the environment you live in. When you were a  baby and cute, you felt the love from mom and dad and that stayed with you from  childhood until adulthood. If you were an unwanted child, your mom may have  given you up for adoption for different reasons, at that point in time, your  life and self esteem may have taken a different turn. The first step to  regaining your self confidence is to learn about yourself as much as you can to  see where you are coming from then start applying some self love to remove all  the years of build up hatred for self.

The adopted child mind you, may have a loving family, which can actually be  better than the biological one. We know of adopted children who are living the  good life with loving and supporting parents, such as Nicole Richie who starred  in Fox reality television series The Simple Life. These are exceptions rather  than the rule. Many children who grow up in foster homes have a history of low  self esteem due to the fact that many of them were moving from one foster home  to the next without having the chance to develop a family bond such as having a  father or mother image with brother and sisters.

The person who is now a teen-ager or an adult is going through live with no self confidence and little love from others, will start to think that he/she is  worth nothing. Your self image will suffer badly because you think that no one  cares about you. Little friends that you have may be taken advantage of you and  may even be abusing you by calling you names and what not. You have no respect  from co-workers and employers due to the fact that you are subconsciously  sending a message of “pick on me” to the general public.

Remove low self image and build success!

You too can be successful in life, with money, good jobs, a loving family and  friends in all walks of life who respect and admire you. You can’t control the  past, but you can surely control your future. The first step to regaining your  self esteem is to develop a healthy and positive self image that will lead to  positive self esteem. Take note of your weak and strong points and start working  of your weak points.

If you are fat, lose some weight. Dress smartly, that will boost your self  confidence. Remind yourself often of past accomplishments, do some daily  positive affirmations, associate with positive people and more importantly be  kind to yourself. You will start seeing changes in your life by changing the  image you have of yourself. A positive image will bring positive changes and  regain of self esteem.

Click here to learn more on how to regain self confidence.

The Power to Choose: Think Positively

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They intend to make you feel bad feelings like guilt, shame, fear, and pain. They create problems that might not even exist and say “you better do this or it’ll never go away” or “You better do this or this might happen” or “If you don’t do this right now, you’re doomed!”

So the best thing you can do for yourself and everyone else is to be pro-choice. Meaning, imagine right now and hold those images in your mind that people’s needs are fulfilled not because of what “they” say people need or want, but simply because we all have the power to choose.

You, me and everyone else in this world has the power to design and create our own life and circumstances. So it won’t be wise to try to fight against people using it. And I don’t recommend you do that. Instead, begin to imagine that you have the control. That no matter where you are, what you see or what you hear – you choose your own path.

So if you want to be healthy, when you see a commercial that tells you that you’re sick, or tries to make you feel that you are, it won’t affect you simply because you already hold in your mind that you are healthy and have the ability to heal yourself with your mind alone.

Don’t you agree that it’s immediately more refreshing to think optimistically? …To think positively? There’s no reason to resist anything. If someone says something to you, and you know it’s not something that is a part of you, don’t entertain the thought for one bit. Simply choose to think the exact opposite, and feel great about it!

In fact, start feeling great that you have the ability to change how you feel in the blink of an eye!  Put your favorite song on the stereo, mute the TV and dance around the house happily saying out loud however you’d like to feel at the moment. Put yourself in present time and just enjoy the silence or sounds and sights around you.

How to Overcome Shame and Guilt

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Whenever a person commits something which is not justifiable and is not correct then he often feel shameful of his act or he feels guilty of doing it. There is a huge difference between a feeling of shame and guilt. A person feels shameful when he is disappointed from what he has done and is feeling extremely bad. When some person dishonors a person because of his act then he feels shame.  Guilt arises when a person realizes that his act has hurt someone. Guilt is often related with acts of crime. Overcoming such negative feelings is very important because no one can live in a state of shame happily.

So overcoming shame is essentially important. Now the question that arises is how to overcome shame. Overcoming shame is not very difficult. Obviously it is easily said but not easily done. You will have to follow the steps that I am going to mention in the next few lines if you want to overcome shame. Living with such emotions and feeling is the most difficult thing because it does not allow you to concentrate on any other thing. It grips a person from inside so hard that a person finds it hard to trounce over it. But a person with such strong negative emotions also reaches a saturation point when can not take any such thing any more. At this point of time that person must follow these steps:

  1. First of all realize what have you done that are making you feel this way. After analyzing the shameful act done by you say sorry to all those who were hurt by you.

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  2. After you have confessed about your act to others and also apologized for your mistake you will naturally start feeling relaxed.

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  3. For overcoming shame the thing which is more important than being forgiven by person whom you hurt is to forgive yourself.

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  4. Until and unless you exonerate yourself you will not be able to overcome shame.

Absolve and let go the past. Promise to yourself that whatever you did was a mistake and you will never ever repeat it. Make sure you never think about your past again but you must learn from your past.

How to Overcome Low Self Esteem

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Our self esteem is an indicator of how much we worth ourselves. Self worth is indeed the most important thing for anyone on this planet earth. But there are many who do not give much significance to their own self and keep slogging in day and night for other’s benefit. Such people neither make it big in life nor stay happy. A person with a low self esteem can be identified very easily. People with low self esteem never does things with full interest and divine passion. They do things just for the heck of it and this is why they are not very successful in life.

A person who is oozing with confidence and flamboyance will obviously be able to make a better impact on people when compared with a person who lacks self esteem. A person can only flaunt confidence if he loves thy self.  Loving yourself to a certain extent is important because it allows you to take decisions which are important for your life. A person can only show interests in other things if he loves himself. A person with high self esteem takes pride in doing things which are good for him. He does things for others as well but never compromise his feelings in that case.

All those who are suffering from low self esteem must follow the following tips for overcoming low self esteem. First of all learn to face yourself and accept yourself as you are. Look yourself in a mirror and look into your eyes deeply and ask for what you want. Ask questions to yourself and give true answers. Take pride in yourself and do not underestimate yourself anytime. You can achieve all the success in your life if for once you start loving yourself and take pride in your efforts.

You have no right to life such an introvert life with low self esteem. You can also live a life which is large and beautiful. If you will start loving yourself then you can love anyone else and then only others will show interest in you.

Are You Damaging Your Child’s Self-Esteem?

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Self-esteem is important for any child’s development. He needs it to grow into a confident adult later in life. When a child lacks in self-esteem growing up, then he has a tougher time handling his everyday troubles.

In severe cases, children have resorted to committing suicide over low self-esteem issues.

In order for them to start building confidence in themselves, you’ll need to sit back and take a look at what you’re doing to encourage them in their lives.

Your child needs your guidance and nurturing all throughout his life. Some of the mistakes that parents make with their children, without even realizing it, are focusing too much on their children’s weaknesses and not enough on their strong points.

No child, or adult for that matter, is perfect – so there’s no need to constantly remind them of that every day. Children need to be taught right from wrong, but you shouldn’t harp on the fact that they never get anything right.

You’re there to help them realize their mistakes, help them to learn from them, and show them how to change paths and turn something from a negative into a positive. Focusing on the mistakes they make will only lower their self-esteem and make them feel like they can’t do anything right.

Some children only hear the negative things and nothing about the positive. Sometimes parents forget to praise their children for the good things they do. It’s those moments in a child’s life that allows them to build confidence within themselves.

Sometimes children need to be given a little more responsibility so that they have ample opportunity to achieve something. Those who aren’t given the chance equate it with not being good enough to do anything.

It dampers their spirit and will eventually control them to the point where they won’t want to try to achieve anything for fear of yet another failure. Give them some kind of responsibility that’s appropriate for their age and skillset.

Children look up to their parents.  In their eyes, you’re superhuman, but that can sometimes result in low confidence in themselves when they start to think that they could never live up to you.

Don’t be afraid to let them know (and see) your imperfections. It’s a lot easier on them when they realize that you make mistakes, too.  For families with more than one child, competition arises for their parent’s attention and affection. 

Each child needs to be treated individually according to how you feel they need it, but the accolades they receive should be equal in abundance.  Help your child deal with the turmoil of everyday life as they move from childhood to adult by building their self-esteem a little bit each day.

When a Bad Relationship Damages Your Self-Esteem

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Getting involved in a bad relationship is something that a lot of people go through at one time or another. Sometimes, though, people have to endure mental abuse from their partners, which can have a negative effect on them that lasts a lifetime.

It can be tough for you to bounce back from the mental abuse you had to endure and your self-esteem suffers greatly because of it.  The mental abuse you were put through is usually an attack by your partner to make you feel worthless and insecure.

The partner does it to gain control and boost his or her own ego (yes, women can be abusive, too). They want you to have low self-esteem so you won’t think for yourself. Getting out of a relationship like that is the first step you need to take in order to save your own sanity.

There are other things you’ll need to do to bounce back from the mental abuse. It’s important to stay active. Get out and do things with your family and friends, because an abuser loves to alienate you from your loved ones.

Keep your mind focused on other things so that you don’t isolate yourself at home and become dependent on the negative person who’s feeding into your self-esteem issues.  Call up friends, read uplifting books or concentrate on a project like redecorating your house.

Do whatever it takes to keep you going. If you have a job, continue to work and take note of your goals and achievements. If you don’t have a job, look for one. Working can get your mind off of your problems and give you the necessary affirmation that you can do whatever you put your mind to – and that you’re not worthless.

Avoid jumping into other relationships until you’re fully healed emotionally. You’re more likely to fall for other partners who are just like your ex. You don’t want to get into the same situation as before and repeat the cycle of abuse.

Don’t waste time on thoughts of your ex – whether it’s negative or otherwise. Some people make the mistake of spending a lot of time with thoughts of how much they hate their former partner or how they wish they could get revenge. 

Release the anger and focus on what’s important – you!  It’s time to move forward with your life. Don’t be afraid to seek some professional help. A professional can help you work through your feelings and help you build your self-esteem back up. Don’t let a bad relationship break your spirit.

Could Low Self-Esteem Be A Sign of Depression?

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Low Self-Esteem Could Threaten Your Health

Low self-esteem can cause a lot of problems – both emotionally and physically – when left untreated. Here are some ways that it can threaten your health and what you can do to avoid them.

Depression – Depression is the first thing that happens when a person has low self-esteem. They start to feel worthless, which isolates them from their friends and family. Isolation only encourages them to think negative thoughts about themselves, which causes depression to go deeper. In severe cases, some resort to suicide.

Anxiety – Low self-esteem causes a person to have little confidence in themselves, which can cause fear and panic attacks when they’re faced with a situation they don’t want to be in.

Stress – Stress is a part of everyone’s lives, but it can seem enhanced for someone who’s suffering from low self-esteem. They’re not likely to take the steps necessary to avoid some of their stress, which causes their anxiety to build.

Weight Gain – People often try to fill the void of self-esteem with food. They ultimately start gaining weight to the point of being obese. Gaining too much weight causes heart problems, diabetes, and a host of other illnesses.

Weight Loss – While some people gain weight, others tend to binge and purge their food or starve themselves, thinking they will gain a more satisfying appearance. Unfortunately, they never reach a level where they are satisfied with their look and they become extremely sick, often to the point of no return without professional help.

Addictions – Some end up being addicted to street drugs or prescription drugs. They get high on these drugs and live that moment in time in a different world where they have no cares and no problems. Unfortunately they can end up brain damaged or dead if the addiction isn’t dealt with early on.

Alcohol abuse – Some turn to alcohol to try to forget their problems and feel better about themselves. They substitute alcohol as their friend because it provides them with the confidence they yearn for, but haven’t developed.

It makes them feel almost invincible and they do things they wouldn’t normally have the guts to do. Alcohol becomes an addiction and then over time, the abuse of it can cause liver problems, heart disease and contribute to the development of cancer. 

These are only a few of the things that low self-esteem can cause. It’s important that the person with little or no self-esteem gets some help in building their confidence back up. If left untreated for too long, these health problems (and even more serious ones) can occur. 

How to Build Confidence in Yourself One Day at a Time

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Many of us have many goals and dreams we envision for our lives, but without self-confidence, we’ll get nowhere with them.  Building up confidence in yourself will give you the motivation you need to achieve everything you want out of life.

Here are three exercises you can try each day to gain the self-confidence you need.

Start a journal

A confidence-boosting journal should contain positive things you did for that day. Most people accomplish a lot of little things in the span of 24 hours, but don’t really think of them as achievements.

By putting them in a journal each day, you see how they build up over the weeks, months, and years.  You might start with the simple things – like five ways you paid a random act of kindness to a stranger or three things you did that helped further your career.

It can be something as simple as holding the door open for a little old lady or reading a book about saving for retirement.  As you look back on your entries of positive accomplishments, it will give you motivation to achieve even more.

List your goals in baby steps

Instead of setting a goal to accomplish the whole thing at once, try breaking it down in tiny steps that need to meet each day. Each time you get to cross off the little steps, you gain more confidence in yourself and you’ll empower yourself to reach the next step until you’ve achieved the primary goal.

If your goal is to save money for a vacation, you can plan tiny steps like placing $5 in a savings jar each day. You’ll feel good knowing you’ve done seven things for yourself one week rather than waiting until you suddenly have $1,000 falling into your lap for your upcoming holiday.

Plus, if you fail to achieve your big goals, it can diminish the self-confidence you have built up, so small goals and baby steps help you gain the esteem you’re lacking.

Read inspirational quotes 

Search the Internet or purchase a book with lots of inspirational quotes on confidence or self-esteem. Read one of the quotes daily and see if you can apply it to your life throughout the day.

You can add it to your journal entry. If today’s inspirational quote talks about greeting everyone you meet that day (instead of avoiding eye contact), and then try it. At the end of the day, you can journal it as one more positive thing you accomplished.

Can Hypnosis Help with Self-Esteem?

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When we’re facing problems in our lives, we can use hypnosis to plant the seed of an idea into our subconscious mind and override the issue at hand.  Some people use hypnosis to quit smoking or stop nail biting – even to overcome their fear of flying!

But it can also be used to change our outlook on life, increasing our self-esteem and building our confidence.  There are many self-help books and resources you can use to build your self esteem, but what if those methods aren’t working?

Will hypnosis succeed where everything else has failed?  Hypnosis can plant a suggestion into your subconscious mind to alter your fears, so that when the session is done, you can get on with your life without having the anxiety interfere.

For building self-esteem, hypnotherapy can assist you in building stepping-stones to a more confident life.  It’s not something where you just listen to a few self-hypnosis CDs and expect to be swimming in self-esteem – you have to apply these thoughts to your daily interaction with others and build on the new thoughts so that they take root.

There are some hypno-therapists who specialize in self-help issues.  But you can also learn to do it yourself, without the assistance of a professional hypnotist. If you see a professional, they may counsel you in addition to performing hypnosis.

Can anyone be hypnotized? Each person is different. It’s been reported that anyone who is open to it, can be hypnotized – and those who aren’t open to it, won’t be. Hypnotherapy works by placing a person in a relaxed, trance-like state and then introducing new thought patterns into their minds.

If you’re skeptical of the entire situation, then you may not be open enough to ever get into a relaxed state of mind. Hypnosis helps a person clear their mind of negative thoughts and influences that hinder your ability to feel good about yourself.

Sometimes, we just need to replace these negative thought patterns so that we’re fair to ourselves and objective about our good qualities.  It can take away the anxiety we feel when we suddenly think we’re not good enough or smart enough to achieve our goals.

Everyone has inner doubts and fears, but by using hypnosis, we can eliminate some of them and make room for positive thoughts to dominate our minds and pave the way to a more confident and optimistic outlook on life!

Hypnosis for Self-Esteem

Hypnosis can be a helpful tool for improving self-esteem. Self-esteem issues often stem from negative thinking patterns and beliefs about oneself, which hypnosis can address effectively. Here are some ways hypnosis can help:

  1. Changing Negative Thought Patterns: Hypnosis can help in identifying and altering negative thought patterns that contribute to low self-esteem. Through hypnosis, these ingrained patterns can be accessed and replaced with more positive, affirming thoughts.
  2. Reinforcing Positive Beliefs: Hypnosis can be used to strengthen positive beliefs and attitudes about oneself. Positive suggestions and affirmations during hypnosis can promote a more positive self-image.
  3. Addressing Root Causes: Sometimes, low self-esteem is linked to past experiences or deep-seated beliefs formed in childhood. Hypnosis can help in exploring and resolving these underlying issues.
  4. Enhancing Self-Compassion: Hypnosis can encourage a more compassionate and understanding attitude towards oneself, reducing self-criticism and promoting self-acceptance.
  5. Improving Confidence: By visualizing successful scenarios and outcomes, hypnosis can help build confidence in abilities and talents, which in turn boosts self-esteem.
  6. Relaxation and Stress Reduction: Hypnosis is inherently relaxing, and by reducing stress and anxiety, it can create a more positive mental state, which is beneficial for self-esteem.
  7. Behavioral Changes: Hypnosis can also help in changing behaviors that are linked to low self-esteem, such as procrastination or social withdrawal, by instilling a greater sense of motivation and social confidence.

It’s important to note that while hypnosis can be a powerful tool, it is most effective when used as part of a broader therapeutic approach, often in conjunction with counseling or cognitive-behavioral therapy. Additionally, the effectiveness of hypnosis can vary from person to person. For those considering hypnosis for self-esteem issues, it is recommended to seek out a qualified and experienced hypnotherapist who can tailor the approach to the individual’s specific needs and circumstances.