In those moments, it can feel like someone is being insincere, thoughtless, and unfaithful. This is about those times when you realize that people often say things they don’t intend to follow through on. It’s a revelation that they might express one thing while meaning something entirely different, and their actions often don’t align with their words.
At times, it seems as if this is done deliberately. Communication should be more straightforward, right? Why is it so challenging for some to express themselves clearly and truthfully?
You might feel like you’re caught in a bewildering game, trying to reconcile their actions with their words. Everything seems inconsistent, and if they genuinely care, why isn’t transparency a priority? Why do they struggle to be clear and direct?
There’s a simple reason for this. Emotionally charged situations often lead to a disconnect between what is said and meant. Emotions, by nature, can defy rational thought. Logic is our ability to reason and make sound decisions, and typically, our actions reflect our words under logical circumstances.
However, emotions can override this logical thinking. When emotions are intense, they can dominate rationality, making us act in ways that may seem irrational.
You’ll notice that when someone is emotional, their actions may not align with their intentions or their words. They might behave erratically or out of character, leading to significant confusion.
This confusion can lead you to mistakenly believe that you’re at fault for their behavior. You may find yourself trying to decipher their actions, thinking you’ve done something wrong, but the truth is, their emotional state is causing this unpredictability. And while they might not be able to explain their actions, it’s important to understand that it’s not a reflection of your actions or worth…
…And this is where it all boils down, because every single man faces a MAJOR dilemma, that women don’t even realize occurs. What is this dilemma? The dilemma is this:
Men Fear Their Emotions…
Yup, you ARE reading this correctly. Men are so terrified of their emotions that they become distraught whenever their emotions pass over the threshold of logic. Naturally, men are taught to be logical, and are told to suppress their emotions.
From childhood till adulthood, they are conditioned to believe that expressing their emotions can be seen as unhelpful, a sign of weakness, problematic, and simply unacceptable.
Thus, men learn to express themselves through logic instead, and as we know, logic never mixes with emotions; thus there is always a stark contrast in how a man thinks and how a woman thinks.
This is why the statement “men are from Mars, and women are from Venus” sticks; because it’s a universal fact that at times men and women seem to be so completely different that it’s sometimes impossible to think they are from the same planet.
To help you understand better, let’s put this into perspective. Consider the fact that women, are instead taught to express themselves through their emotions.
Your entire life, you are taught that as a woman, you should connect with your emotions, should express yourself through emotion, and that your problems can be solved through emotion.
For instance, you know that when you cry, you can tell others that you are upset. Crying can help you solve the problem, because it clearly sends a signal to others that you have a need for something, or that you have been hurt and need them to console you or stop their behavior.
Likewise, when you are confronted with a problem, you end up talking about it. You want to discuss your feelings, and how things make you feel. You want to talk about how something has hurt you, why it has hurt you.
Talking helps you feel better, because it is a good way for you to vent your frustrations out, and you feel less pressure and stress as a result.
Another example is when a woman tells someone that they love them. A woman feels that by telling it, she is therefore sharing the emotion, and in the end feels like she was able to express herself. Typically, others will tell you in return that they love you, BUT men, of course may not always return it.
Therefore, you have learned that you can get RESULTS from your emotions, when you express them. In the end, you have been learning how to CONNECT to your emotions for most of your life.
You have come to terms with your emotional side, and you have learned how to deal with it and also how to use it as a tool for reinforcement in your life.
This also means that you have learned how to react and deal with your emotions when they become overbearing or strong.
Men, however, do not have this luxury. Since it is practically taboo for a man to express himself emotionally, he never learns how to connect and come to terms with his feelings.
Of course, in a relationship, this can be a HUGE issue. Relationships are founded almost entirely on emotion and feelings, and partially on logic.
Men struggle in relationships as a result, and moreover, they struggle even more to communicate with women because of it.
You see, when a man becomes emotional, his natural urge is to resist it. He resists his emotions, because he doesn’t know how to handle them, and has found that whenever he was too emotional, things just felt out of control for him.
That’s exactly why men FEAR their emotions, because they have no way of controlling them. They don’t know what to do when they are emotional, or have strong feelings.
They can’t connect, and as a result find that everything else is out of control too. What happens then, is men try to regain the control, which is where you should understand that men handle and tackle their problems in a completely different manner than women do:
Men Tackle Problems By Using Logic, Not Emotion…
When a woman has a problem, she’ll talk about it, and it is always tackled with her emotions: she talks about how she feels.
Men, however, tackle problems with logic. That is how they learn to ‘vent’ their frustration, that is how they express themselves, and that is how they are able to feel in control.
Moreover, that is how they solve their problems: they reason, make sound judgments, and investigate the issue. BUT, that is the REAL problem. That is where the real eye opener is. At first, the emotions set in, and a man will say things, while the emotions are there.
BUT then, he will realize that the emotions have set in, and his Logic will tell him to suppress it in order to stay in control.
His logical mind will say “No! Back away!”, and that’s when you find him suddenly doing the EXACT opposite of what he said. That’s when you find him saying things he doesn’t mean.
In the end, men don’t actually intend on doing this on purpose…because it’s a reaction they don’t even realize they have. Sometimes a man is aware of the fact that he can’t handle a certain emotion in its entirety, and in those cases you’ll really feel confused, because his reaction will be to pull away from you.
That’s why you’ll find the most discrepancies when he is emotional. It can even be when everything is fine and has been running smoothly, because a man will fear EVERY emotion when it passes the threshold of logic; even if the emotion is a positive feeling, such as love or trust.
You’ve probably guess where I am going with this, so why is it that a man can’t say what he means, or do what he says he is going to? Here is what it all comes down to:
Men Can’t Say What They Mean Or Do What They Say As Long As Their Emotions Are At Odds With Their Logical Side…
He resists his emotions; therefore it’s a never-ending circle…
1. He’ll feel an emotion.
2. He’ll act on that emotion for the time being, not realizing that it’s a feeling just yet.
3. He’ll recognize that he is feeling an emotion as it grows stronger.
4. He’ll struggle to accept the emotion, as his logical side tries to gain control again, telling him that it’s bad to feel that way.
5. He starts to feel out of control internally, because he can’t connect to his emotions, but is feeling them; and at the same time his logic is arguing that he should suppress them by acting against them.
6. Finally, he pulls away and withdraws to feel in control again.
7. Rinse and repeat.
The moment where his logic tries to regain control is the moment where you will find him never doing what he says, because now his mind is directing him to do the EXACT opposite as he feels.
His mind tells him to do the opposite, because he doesn’t know what the true result of acting on his emotions will be.
Remember that men never really act on their emotions and don’t express themselves through their emotions, thus they never gain any real experience with their feelings.
Since there is no experience there is no solid guarantee that if he acts on his emotions, he will get the results he wants.
This is where it becomes extremely scary for men, because they fear failure and rejection. Failure and rejection only mean more emotional torture, which they absolutely don’t want to have to try and handle. Thus, they take the safer route and back away from their emotions.
In the end, as long as a man’s logic is at odds with his emotions, there will always be discrepancies.
Until he comes to terms with his emotions, and learns how to handle and deal with them, his logical mind will always reject them and tell him to let go of them, or tell him to suppress them by acting in the opposite manner that his emotions are leaning him toward.
So let’s put this into perspective, and apply everything above: Let’s say he’s told you that he loves you and wants to spend the rest of his life with you. He says something like: “I love you, and don’t want anyone else. I want to marry you!”.
Ecstatic you feel fulfilled and happy that he wants to commit to you, and feel great that he has gotten to this emotional state with you. But the next thing you know, he’s withdrawing, becoming distant, ignores you, and you even catch him flirting with others.
At first, he feels the emotion, but then it becomes intense. He doesn’t know the outcome of it, and becomes worried. His logical side argues with him, and tells him to reason on it, and to judge the situation.
He does, and all of his worst fears come true. He starts thinking that maybe he will be trapped if he really does what he says, and if he really follows his feelings.
He starts to think things like:
“What if it doesn’t work out?” or
“Will I be able to provide for both of us?”
“What if she loses interest in me or finds someone better?”
“What if I fall out of love?”
“What if I can’t be the man she needs?”
“What if I need space?”
“What if I can’t make our dreams come true?”
And it goes on and on…. “what if, what if”, and more “what if’s”.
The doubts start to kick in, as he thinks that perhaps he can’t, and his logic continues to provide examples of where everything could go wrong, and suddenly he is convinced to back out.
He, of course, can’t express any of this to you, because he is unable to express his emotional side. That’s where he backs off, becomes distant, breaks his promises, and does the opposite of what he says, and your world turns upside down.
But, if you want your world to stop turning upside down, and if you want him to finally be able to get out of this cycle, there is a way to do it.
You see, I have carefully laid out a system which will let you directly into a man’s mind, to show you everything you need to do to get the results you want to see.
Check out my personal video where I explain everything you need to know in order to get what you want from a man…
[…] a woman does not understand how a man’s mind works, or what she needs to do specifically to make him react positively in return, she will end up […]